Implement these top 10 positive parenting tips to form a better relationship with your child.
If you’re a parent, you’ll know good parenting is hard work. It isn’t easy.
The good thing is, although parenting is hard, it is also very rewarding.
The rewards usually come much later than the hard work. But if you try our best now, you will eventually reap the rewards and have nothing to regret.
So how do you be a good parent?
Here are 10 positive parenting tips if your a parent to a child.
What makes a good parent?
We all strive to be good parents.
To love our children unconditionally is our main goal.
Especially for mums, our love begins as soon as we see that positive sign on the pregnancy test. Children are such a blessing.
Have you ever thought your not a good parent?
Food for thought? Your the best parent for your child because God chose you to be his/her mum and dad.
Here’s 10 positive parenting tips to make you even better.
A good parent is someone who?…
Strives to make decisions in the best interest of the child.
A good parent doesn’t have to be perfect. No one is perfect.
I’ll say that again…
No parent is perfect.
No child is perfect either, keeping this in mind is important when you set your expectations.
You serve as a role model for your children. Set high standards for yourselves first and then your children second.
Here are 10 tips on learning effective parenting skills.
Many of them are not quick nor easy. And probably no one can do all of them all of the time.
But if you can keep working on them, even though you may only do part of these some of the time, you will still be moving in the right direction.
Top 10 Tips On positive Parenting!
#1 Be A Good Role Model – The best you can be!
Walk the walk. Don’t just tell your child what you want them to do. Show them.
Children watch everything their parents do very carefully. So you would want to make sure whatever your showing your child is POSITIVE.
Human’s learn by imitation.
We are programmed to copy others actions to understand them and to incorporate them into our own.
I noticed this with my own child. When ever I would use certain words like “go away” he would copy.
When they use the same terms as us we associate them with being rude. When in fact it’s our own teachings that have programmed them that way.
Parenting Advice: Only use positiveness around your child. We all have bad days, but don’t let it affect your child’s learning.
A child’s brain comes into the world like a plain piece of paper. Since parents are usually his first point of contact for the first few years of his life, he uses the things he learns from his parents to fill up that paper, which eventually will mould his life.
So, be the person you want your child to be — respect your child, show them positive behavior and attitude, have empathy towards your child’s emotion — and your child will follow suit.
#2: Love Them And Show Them Affection
Show your love. Don’t hold onto it.
There is no such thing as loving your child too much. Loving them cannot spoil them
So, what does spoil your child?
Only what you choose to do (or give) in the name of love will spoil your child.
So things like material-indulgence, leniency, low expectation, and over-protection. When these things are given in place of real love, that’s when you’ll have a spoiled child.
Giving love isn’t complicated, It’s also Free!
Loving your child can be as simple as giving them hugs, spending time with them and listening to their issues seriously. When they know they have someone that can cuddle them and hear them out, they are satisfied.
A child requires the simplest form of love – No materialistic item can beat that!
Parenting Advice: Shower your child with hugs and kisses daily. Make them do the same back to you. We as parents need love and affection also. And what better place to get that love from – our children.
Showing these acts of love can trigger the release of feel-good hormones such as oxytocin, opioids, and prolactin.
These neurochemicals can bring us a deep sense of calm, emotional warmth and contentment, from these the child will develop a closer relationship with you. Feeling loved will give a sense of security to your child that he is in the best place in the world.
“The safest place in the world is in the arms of your mother” – writtenbysadia
#3: Be Kind And Firm
A baby is born a blank canvas. It’s up to the parents to fill that canvas with positive and happy words/memories.
Shower your child with positive experiences. That way they will have the ability to experience positive experiences themselves and offer them to others.
Eventually when they become parents themselves, they will be using those same experiences towards their kin. YES! Brain cells capture all these positive experiences which can last the child it’s whole life time.
A child who has a negative experience since birth, or had a rough bringing up will be affected in there teenage, adult and senior years.
If you give your child negative experiences. They won’t have the kind of development necessary for them to thrive.
Parenting Advice: Be fun with them. Sing that silly song. Have a tickle marathon. Go to the park. Laugh with your child. Ride through an emotional tantrum. All with a positive attitude. Your child will carry these memories for life.
Being a parent myself, I agree! It can be hard to remain positive when it comes to discipline.
It’s hard to keep calm.
However, it is possible to practice Positive Discipline and avoid punitive measures. Although it may seem hard to remain positive, it’s possible. These are qualities of being a good parent.
Qualities of good parents: We change our ways to adapt to our child.
Parenting Advice: Being a good parent means you need to teach your child what is right and what is wrong. Setting limits and being consistent are the keys to good discipline. Always be kind and firm when implementing these rules.
By focusing on your child’s behavior. You can make this an opportunity to learn for the future, rather than to punish for the past.
#4: Be A Safe Haven For Your Child
Whether you’re a child or adult, we all find peace in our homes. Coming back from work after a tiring day and just putting our feet up in our home, is a BLISS feeling!
Same goes for a child. They always look forward to “hometime” when in school.
Make yourself and your home a safe haven for your child.
Let them know that you’ll always be there for them.
Be responsive to your child’s needs. Support and accept your child as an individual. Encourage them to be the best they can.
Be a warm, safe haven for your child to explore from.
Children raised by parents who are consistently responsive tend to have better emotional development, social development, and mental health outcomes.
A child is always happier when they feel safe. They should feel that happiness when they are with their parents. No third factor should come in between.
#5: Talk With Your Child And Listen
Communication is key. We all know. Yet many parents fail to communicate with their child.
Your child is like your friend. A friend that you will always have. So why not communicate.
It worries me when I see children especially in their teens who can’t speak out to their parents about certain things. THIS BOND needs to be formed at the beginning.
Talk to your child and also listen to them carefully.
By keeping an open line of communication, you’ll have a better relationship with your child and your child will come to you when there’s a problem.
There’s another reason for communication — Integration
Talk through troubling experiences. Ask your child to describe what happened and how he/she felt. This can help your child release!
We all know how it feels when were angry and upset and we JUST want to let it out!
Children are the same. Integrate communication allows them to do just that!
You don’t have to provide solutions. Nor do you need to have all the answers to be a good parent. Just listening to them talk and asking clarifying questions will help them make sense of their experiences.
#6: Reflect On Your Own Childhood But don’t overdo it!
Many of us parent the way we were parented.
Have you heard yourself?
“When I was younger I would do x,y and z, you cant even do anything”.
Err..hello! This is where it all goes wrong…
Very often, when we open our mouths, we speak just like our parents did.
Reflecting on our own childhood is a step towards understanding why we parent the way we do.
Parenting Advice: Make note of things you’d like to change and think of how you’d do it differently in a real scenario. Try to be mindful and change your behavior the next time those issues come up.
Always remember, your children were born in a different time, different generation and different era. Although sometimes it can be perfectly fine to parent just how our parents did, we have to be mindful to add the tweaks to ensure your child makes the most of what’s being said in that moment so they can relate.
#7: Pay Attention To Your Own health
Look after yourself!
Often times, things such as your own health or the health of your marriage are kept on the back burner when a child is born. If you don’t pay attention to them, they will become bigger problems down the road
A child being born drastically changes almost everything. From here on, it’s a new human being living with you, change of routines, change of meals, basically everything does change.
A baby can change many factors. More noise around the house, crying, screaming, and the biggest of all, a sense of huge responsibility.
Throughout this whole joyous roller coaster. We parents forget to look after ourselves.
Take good care of yourself physically and mentally. Take time to strengthen your relationship with your partner. If these two areas fail, your child will suffer, too.
When was the last time you and your partner had a date night?
Although children are the BIGGEST blessing for us, it can also reduce the time you and your partner get to spend with each other ALONE!
This can effect you in the long run, not just you, but your family. Try and change things it up a little.
Produce some quality time for you and your partner ATLEAST once a week without the kids.
Have family days out
Give each other hugs and kisses … It’s not just the children who should get all the affection.
You get the jist, I’m sure….
#8: Do Not Hit/Spank, No Matter What
Let’s be honest, for some parents, hitting or spanking can bring about much-needed relief.
However, this method doesn’t teach the child right from wrong.
It only teaches the child to fear external consequences.
The child is then motivated to avoid getting caught instead.
For example, besides Hitting, there are many better alternatives, e.g. redirection, reasoning, removing privileges, time-in, etc. You can choose the non-punitive discipline method that works best for your child.
Children who are spanked, smacked or hit are more prone to fighting with other children.
They are more likely to become bullies and to use verbal/physical aggression to solve disputes.
Of course, you can still choose to use “traditional” or “old school” philosophies (e.g. spanking) and may still get the “same” outcome.
I get it, some kids just need a shove. It’s NOT recommended however, as there are many many alternate ways to reach the same result.
Use Positive Discipline and Positive Reinforcement instead.
#9: Remember Your Parenting Goal
Why are you raising your child? As easy it is to say, ask yourself the question WHY?
You put in so much effort to ensure your child is disciplined, or afforms correctly, behaves, listens, turns into a perfect man/women, why?
Because you want your child to do well in life. you want your child to do well in school, be productive, be responsible and independent, enjoy meaningful relationships with you and others, be caring and compassionate, and have a happy, healthy and fulfilling life.
But how much time do you spend on working towards those goals?
You also probably spend most of the time just trying to get through the day. I put my hands up to this….However, next time you feel angry or frustrated, step back.
Think about your end goals for the child. As parents you can only try your best. Doing these will not only help you keep a healthy perspective, but also build a good relationship with your child.
Ofcourse I understand, when their older they go their own ways. But the fact that you have disciplined your child to your best abilities is your parenting goals ticked right there!
#10: Keep learning
Life itself is a learning curve.
Just because you fed your child the wrong type of food or whatever, doesn’t make you a bad parent. With time and experience, your skills will increase also.
Compare a first time mum to a 6th time mum – huge difference in the knowledge sector!
Don’t go hard on yourself.
Once your child is older to understand what you mean, they will become your friend and support your decisions rather than retaliate. Form a strong bond with your child as a baby and the flower will only blossom.
Happy Parenting my lovelies!
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